Diary of A Homemaker’s Week: Free Fall

Friday:  I said on Thursday I'd not post about Friday but I am.   

I had a poor night.  Nothing new there and no more reason for it than I could pinpoint at any other time.  It just was what it was.  Up this morning a little later than usual but I had a breakfast plan and  no Caleb so I wasn't feeling particularly pressured.  I got up only because I wanted to bake bread before we went out for our late lunch and I know almost exactly what my window for that is and I wanted to be well within it.

When John and I had breakfast, I had bread well under way.  After our meal, I puttered slowly about the house cleaning.  My mission today was a Shabat cleaning only.  Not a deep cleaning.  Not a big push to get all the things I think I've missed these past two weeks done.  Just Shabat cleaning.  

John left about 10 and went over to Katie's to mow her back yard.  Her neighbor kindly mows the front every time he mows his own.  He's 84 and just as physically active as he ever was.  He talked to John today while John was there and I could see that John found him admirable in many ways.   The most remarkable thing was his statement that he went to bed no later than 9pm every night and was up by 5:30.  He told John, "When I lay down, I go to sleep and I sleep until I get up, every single night."  I told John of all the things, I envy the man that, I do truly.  

As a matter of fact, I was wondering as I puttered away at all my little housekeeping tasks if I'd feel rested in heaven because honestly most days I wake up tired due to my poor sleep habits.  Never mind.

Here at home, I thoroughly enjoyed my puttering about the house and in a bit over two hours I was done.  I formed a smaller loaf of bread since the purpose of this load is for Shabat bread and took half the dough to make John a pan of sticky buns.  He mentioned these earlier this week when I was baking bread (AFTER I had it baking).  I couldn't find a recipe but just played it by ear.  I didn't quite use enough butter to make them 'sticky' but they are good.

Then I settled to reading my Bible and off to shower and get ready.  It was a pleasant morning.  I really appreciated the slower pace and the sense of accomplishment I had at the end of it.

I went looking for new makeup online from the last place I ordered from.  They were out of business.  On our way to the restaurant, I texted Katie asking who to use.  She apparently felt I needed help as much as I did because she not only told me who to purchase from, but chose the palette for me, lol.  I'm not sorry that she did. I like what she chose well enough to come home and order it.  All was on sale so I felt happy with the price.

At the restaurant, our favorite tucked away place, we ordered our meal and enjoyed it.  There were lots of bikers about in town and looking online we discovered there was a big convention at the National Fairgrounds this weekend.  

I ordered an entree I used to love.  Yes, I said 'used to'.  I was super disappointed when they eliminated the sauce that went over this entree.  I asked the waitress at the time, "Why?  Why did they stop making the sauce?"  "They paid someone a million dollars to tell them no one wanted it."  Well guess what?  They've started putting sauce on the dish once more, a sort of reduction sauce.  The description said "Garlic and Herb infused sauce".  Sounded good to me.  What I got was more reminiscent of the gravy that goes over Liver and Onions.  Nothing against Liver and Onions mind you but it wasn't what I expected and not what I wanted particularly.  I wasn't going to complain to the waitress over it but I did explain via the online survey I was offered why I couldn't rate my meal more highly.   Oh well.  Not a great bump in the road nor even a rock.   I just won't order that particular entree again.  I gave the new and 'improved' product a try.  Not impressed.

Our waitress came back to the table to explain she was sorry for a delay in bringing take out boxes to the table.   She'd been upset by a note she found in the restroom that said "Help me."  "My heart is just pounding and I feel sick.  I took it to the manager but I couldn't see anyone that looked even a little distressed or who'd make eye contact when I came out..."  I told her she'd done the best thing to take it to the manager.  "I guess so...All I know to do now is just pray!"  I nodded.  Sometimes prayer seems such a small thing and the most futile but I do believe it has more power than any of us will ever know.  I've been praying all afternoon and evening long myself over this.  I've no clue if it was a stupid silly prank someone was playing or if there's someone in true distress but I pray that God sends them timely help if they need it.

We ate leftovers here at home for supper later and then John went off to play guitar.  While I was clearing in the kitchen, I looked out the kitchen sink window and there were the twin fawns nibbling leaves.  I hurried to the music room and pulled open the curtains and shade so John could see how much they've grown.  They still have spots on their backs but they've now got the longest most awkward looking legs.   Mama stepped out of the trees while we were watching them and then all three bounded across the front yard.   I thought just one more time how much I love living out in the country.

Saturday:  Slept until 8:25.  That seems to be my hour for rising this week.   I had a hard time going off to sleep last night but I'll not blame life long poor sleep habits.  I'd be more willing to lay blame at the feet of the idiocy that made me choose to drink two glasses of unsweet iced tea and a caffeinated  coffee with our lunch out yesterday after 2pm.   Completely silly on my part and grateful to say that while I had a hard time going off to sleep, I didn't lie awake all night long nor wake again until wee hours of the morning.

Took a very leisurely coffee in my chair in the kitchen sitting area and must say that it's still my favorite spot in the house.  The little swivel rocker is acting like it means to break.  Since it's about 12 years old and was well used when it was passed on to me and has been well used here, I've no complaints but I've made up my mind that when it's done, I'll buy another to replace it.  It doesn't necessarily have to be a swivel rocker but might just be a glider but I'm definitely saying that's about the only suitable chair I could want to go in that space in future.

I did Bible study and enjoyed that tremendously this morning.  I'd taken a break for a bit from reading multiples of chapters but am back to my old routine here lately and am excited that during my break I've stumbled upon a pattern of Jeremiah reflecting some of what Jesus had to say in the book of John.   I love cross referencing verses and parables like that.

John left the house for a little while and I slipped outdoors to feed the cat and dogs.  I found he'd fed the dogs.   The air had a humid but soft feel to it today and the sun was hot but not blisteringly hot.  It felt good on my skin.   I'm savoring these days because too soon the North winds will blow cold and I'll wish for these opportunities to just appreciate the summer.

Talked briefly to Amie, regarding a birthday gift for Ross.  He's my only birthday this month and then we've two months free.   I was glad to hear from her.  I can't say that things are going well.  She's in an odd place where she's sort of shut down but grateful for the down time at present.  Josie's baby will be due in a couple of months and we briefly discussed older children.   Well you all know all about that.  She's worried about how young Josie and her partner are but she did remark that Josie seems to have a much stronger maternal streak than she herself had.  I understand that myself.   Amie felt she came into her own with Ross and Rosa.  I've said all along that Katie was the baby that I felt most comfortable raising.   But there are mamas that just start right out knowing exactly how to be a mama.  I think Bess was one of those sorts and I'm glad to hear that Josie is likely going to be the same.

Still the worries of a parent with grown children...I explained to Amie that it works like this:  Half the things we worry over will never happen.  The other half will happen but never turn out as we fear they will...I don't know if she found any comfort in that thought or not but she'll learn as time goes on that it's true.  Much amused when she told me earnestly that she now knows what her Dad and I went through and appreciates us more than ever, lol.  That too, comes with age...

Christmas is on my mind.  I've just purchased my second Christmas gift this month.   We don't give gifts at Christmas as you all know but I've found two items that are PERFECT and in balance they are far less expensive than giving cash gifts though that is John's preference.  At the very least I suppose I can hold on to these for birthdays if he insists on our usual gifting,  but in the meantime, as I come across good buys on things that are so obviously meant to be gifted to someone I know, I'm snapping them up.   It's been a long time since I had a gift drawer going and surely it cannot hurt to start one now of all times? 

Sunday:  Much easier morning for getting ready for church.  I opted to have bagels and cream cheese this morning.  Truth, we eat early on these Sunday's and by the time we get home we're hungry as bears anyway.  So why take time to make a cooked breakfast and try to clear up behind it when we can have an easy meal and save a bit of stress on me?   

I stripped and remade the bed before we left.  I don't know that I'll wash that load of laundry today but at least the bed is freshly made.  I really enjoy sliding into a clean fresh bed on Sunday nights.

I was pretty happy with my outfit today which was inspired by a Pin I'd saved.  I was going through my boards last night and saw this combination of white jeans, a blue and white (and pink) shirt and a pale pink sweater.  My shirt has no pink in it but I often wear it with a necklace that has a soft pink bead.   I don't know how anyone else's church is but ours is cold.  I note that nearly all the women bring a sweater or jacket and a lot of the men do too.  Having seen how the praise team and the pastors glow when on stage I'm sure they are much hotter than the rest of us and need that additional coolness.   The sweater was welcome and I felt I looked quite pulled together.

It was a good reminder to me that one thing I haven't done is use Pinterest to inspire my wardrobe choices in  many months.  I'm going to take time out to look and see what I might find.  Of course, Stitch Fix also offers suggestions on their pages as well, so I'll be checking there and possibly pinning some of those ideas.  

Supper tonight is a new to me recipe of a baked Chicken/Rice dish.  It sure does smell good!  If it tastes as good as it smells I'll be sure and share the recipe.  It's super simple, uses basic ingredients, and it's inexpensive so it ticks all my boxes.  I'm using chicken broth that I made last week as the liquid in my rice.

Monday:  Where has the morning gone?  Here it is mid afternoon and I've gotten very little accomplished today, really....and I got up early this morning!  I think I've just had a puttering sort of morning and that's meant I've taken plenty of time doing the few things I've done.  

I went about my morning Bible reading in a very leisurely and slow manner.  I made breakfast nearer 9 than 8 as I'd meant to  do.  I made up our bed and more or less straightened the kitchen, then headed outdoors to trim back three rosebushes and weeded most of that corner bed between the back porch and patio.  I also looked around at how badly that bed in front of the back porch needs work and I really ought to trim the rosemary back but that would be quite the task since it's taller than I am and as big around as it is tall.

When I'd cooled off a little after coming indoors I beheaded my African Violet and potted it with fresh soil  This is always a scary step to take but my Violets always get long necks.  I discovered today that's probably because I don't repot them nearly enough.  They should be repotted every six months and each time they are repotted, one should remove about a third of the root ball, but never move them up into a bigger pot.  They like a pot no bigger than four inches...Or so I read.  Mind you I think my two largest are in much larger pots and they've both seemed very happy but definitely need to repot more often!

I sat down to reply to an email from a friend and then went to collect packages from the Fed Ex girl.  Rufus was right there at the back of the truck with her, wagging his tail for all he was worth but later came to sit near my feet on the patio.  And who then growled at the same woman warning her away from me?   Silly little dog!  He's never gone for anybody but he is very protective of me which I admire for all that he's just a little dog.

What did I get in my packages?  Slide lock baggies, a bed sheet, short rolls of heavy duty aluminum foil and yesterday I got paper plates.  I haven't been able to find shorter rolls of aluminum foil in the heavy weight of late.  Paper plates have been non-existent, the shelf space sitting empty in multiples of stores.  Mind you I had no trouble ordering them.  But that's what I've gotten in my packages.  

I've been following the foodstorageorganizer and one of her assignments for this month was to purchase storage related items.  I don't purposely set out to buy just what she says, mind you, but often enough, having read her post, it's a seed planted in my mind and I will eventually get a few items related to what she's shared.  If you'd like to  follow a simpler assignment, Patsy is doing her A Working Pantry Bootcamp.   Her assignments are fun and out of the box but they all relate to some area of the home stock be it food or other items that might be useful to have in some supply.

I've decided that while I have a list of things to tackle today I'm just having a slightly 'down' day.  I will allow my body to have the restful sort of day it's apparently requiring.  I feel fine but I just don't have high energy today as I typically might and that's okay.  Low energy days can be used in quieter but just as productive ways.

Tuesday:  No kidding, when I woke this morning the world looked pretty grim and I gave right in and spent the morning and part of the afternoon sniffling and thinking myself ill used.  And I was in a small (oh so very small) way but not nearly proportionate to my foul mood.

Nevertheless, I straightened up and acted right when Miss Millie came to spend a couple of hours with me for the morning and again this afternoon when Bess brought the boys by to see us for a little bit.  

Josh was wearing his glasses which make him look so smart.  He told me two Sundays ago that one of his fellow students called him a Nerd because of his glasses.  I shook my head. "I think they make you look distinguished."  "What's that mean?"  "Well you know how everyone always tell you how handsome you are?" "Yeah."  "Well it's a step above.  It's one better than handsome."  His smile was reward aplenty.  Today when I asked if a distinguished young man like himself had a hug for Gramma he gave me a kiss on my cheek, too.

I buried my head in genealogy most all afternoon between sniffle sessions.  I needed a safe place to hide and old newspaper accounts of Sunday school picnics and automobile rides to a favorite resort area that no longer exists and pretty women's club meetings with themes like daisies or yellow and white foods and flowers, genteel dinners offered up at various homes, and all such as that from another era,  helped a lot.  As did the sun peeking out at me.  And to be honest, having two nut brown little boys come in to visit didn't hurt a bit, either.

Here's hoping I remember tomorrow that the world is bright and I can be sunshine instead of a dark cloud for others.

Wednesday:  Truly the world was brighter this morning and I made up my mind to be a helper and not a hindrance right away.  It didn't last mind you.  I hung on hard to my determination and only one or three tears slipped down my cheeks but later when John was telling me how he felt about how I felt, floodgates opened.  He wasn't mean or ugly, he was just openly sharing how much he would like to change things and he has no clue how at present and neither do I.  It's a hard dry season (except for the tears!) that must be got through and it is what it is.

What I could do today was finish weeding about the flower beds and that is done. I could pick up the sticks in the yard and I did that.  I can't fill the wagon tire with air so I can move the laden thing and empty it because the compressor left home sometime ago and has never returned...and frankly I'm not in the mood to hear that it's in the garage at the other house and I can come use it anytime I like.   Fact is, I can't move the damned wagon with a flat tire and I'm not in the mood for the hassle.

And after I did those things and had wept a bit and showered and run a load of dishes,  made tuna pasta salad and doughnuts, I felt I'd done enough.  I'd made offers that were refused and left it at that.  I did what I could.  

All I need now is a supper plan...Will anything at all come to mind now that it's 3:30?  Remains to be seen.

Thursday:  Yesterday I walked into the bedroom and stopped and stared.  There on the floor,  was a patterned puddle of sunshine coming in from an angle it hasn't to date.  I stood there musing over it and found that I felt joy, yes true and real joy in that moment.  I fell in love with my home all over again in that moment.  All because of a patch of sunshine.

It happens now and then, this sudden flooding of love and happiness for and with my home.  Oddly enough, my mood has been pretty poor this week and part of that unhappiness revolved around the house and my wishes for it, but there are moments when we must admit that a moment is pretty much perfect and not a thing added or subtracted would have made the moment any dearer.

It's been a hard week.  Emotionally and spiritually it's been a hard week.  Not much I can do about some of it.  I'm aggrieved for those who are stronger and having to give more than I shall ever have to give for my faith.  I ask myself if I could possibly pay that price.  I'd like to think I could.  But really...could I?  It's a sobering question and one not to be taken lightly.  Prayers revolved all this week as I've gone about my life with my petty concerns.

I took coffee on the back porch this morning.  I had to move to a chair further down the porch to stay out of the sun but it was worthwhile. I was surrounded by pretty plants, all grown by my hand, most from cuttings or nursed along from cast offs someone has given me.  There was a gentle breeze blowing and the cicadas singing.  I took my time.  John came out and sat with me and then he made breakfast this morning. His specialty: Fried eggs and toast.

I went back out later and weeded the iris by the shed. I was watching carefully for snakes.  No snake seen, but I did find a big long rattle from a snake.  Ugh!  It had apparently been shed this year. Grateful I didn't have a meet and greet!

I emptied compost and noted that while John had kindly taken time to spray the vine crawling up the side of the shed about the compost trash cans, spray had also drifted and hit my beleaguered ten flowering plants...They are dying now.  I won't say a word.  It's obviously NOT destined for me to get even one bloom off those plants this year.  I'll try next year.

Caleb came for a few hours today while Katie attended to an appointment and shopping that she needed to do.  Poor little fellow is not feeling well.  There's a big bulge where  a tooth is coming in and eating makes him miserable and teething gives him fever.   This is one little boy who LOVES to eat.  He wanted to be held but wanted to be put down almost immediately.  Katie and I agree he must have our malady.  When we are ill or ailing our skin literally hurts and we avoid being touched if at all possible.  Katie said "If he could talk he'd say 'Just pet me with your eyes not your hands.'"   I think she's quite right.

John mowed the grass and ended mowing in a downpour.  It was hot and humid and sunny when he started and then there was rain.  And it kept right on raining and he kept right on mowing.  He came in soaked from head to toe but the grass was mown.

And that was our day here in the Blue House.  Not a tragic day nor a spectacular one but it was a day full of routine living.

Friday:  As I was ling awake last night, I was mulling over the week behind, most specifically my own mind set and behavior overall.  I didn't like what I saw in looking back, not one little bit.  

I don't mention political or worldly things here very often and I'm not going to change that policy of mine.  My focus is homemaking and homemaker helpers and the occasional bit of spiritual thoughts that I have mulled over.  But the world view this past week was bleak as hell and images I saw on screens even without us trying to find them were soul wrenching.   In a world gone absolute mad and with innocents dying, with Christians willing to die for their faith, I fretted and harped and worried over not getting a few material things I've wanted for a long while.  And resented the heck out of the people who were getting them for themselves when I had to go without, too.  

So I sat down last night in the wee hours with a cup of milky coffee and my journal and had a good old 'pull up your big girl pants' talk with myself.   First of all was the viewpoint I shared in the paragraph above.  There was no excuse for my pettiness at this time.  My problems, such as they are, are minor, my feelings were petty.  I apologized for them to my Lord and via prayer to those whom I'd maligned in thought and to myself.  That person is not who I want to be.   

There are solutions to the things that I let plague me to distraction.  That was my second task: to write out solutions.   It is fact that some of the things I want to do simply can't be done.  But some could and my fault here is that I keep waiting on John to have time or desire to help.  Well the truth is, he hasn't time.  The man is mowing three yards and trying to help upkeep two houses and the truth is that he's putting forth enough energy.   The other thing is that God help me, love me as he does, some of what I want is not in the least important to him and it's never going to be his priority.  Ever.  Point of fact, it was his desire to avoid doing something that led to what set this week off in the wrong direction this week.

I am a woman who until he retired in 2020 routinely had two weeks a month to do as  I pretty well pleased.  And that meant that when I wanted to do things, I simply got in my car, drove myself to the store and bought what I could afford to get those things done.   In the past year and a half I have sat about waiting on him to go anywhere I needed to go.   I haven't lost my ability to drive.  I haven't lost my license.  I've only lost patience and that's the truth.   And so I informed him this morning that I'm going to be adjusting that attitude of 'have to wait on John' to getting on with things myself as I used to do and as I'm able to scrounge up the cash to get things done.  Truthfully this doesn't set well with him.  He'd prefer I waited on him...but honestly it doesn't set well with me that I am tied to a time schedule and a 'maybe' and stuck at home in the meantime while other projects and other needs are priority.   I'm not maligning my husband.  It's just a fact.

And third is that I am tired of giving up our entire week to deal with the wants of others.  Yes, I'm fine with what we do but we can carve out a little time to be a couple.  Hence this morning, I dragged John from the house to go pick up fast food takeout breakfast.  It might have ended being a longer drive than anticipated (didn't realize John loathes the one nearest us) but it was a pleasant outing, took us only about two hours and we had time away from televisions, screens, and chores.  It was refreshing.  It was worth while.  We won't go bankrupt over $10 (we had it in the dining out fund).  Done.

I hope you all had a better week than I let my turn into but I can say honestly that it's ended on a much better more reasonable note.  I'd loved to have slept last night but I needed that heart to heart with myself.  It worked well for me.

Have a lovely weekend!